Living Word Youth

Rockwood Town Hall Meeting, April 3rd 5:30-7:30 pm @ Crestview Middle School

(here is a letter sent to parents of students at Living Word, please feel free to pass on)

Dear Parent,

You and I are no stranger to the seemingly endless number of challenges to raising and caring for the children of our church community. All it takes is 3 minutes of watching the news or a glance at CNN.com to be reminded that we live in a broken world. There are too many problems to name and the all-to-accessible list of temptations facing our children is growing. I truly believe that only the hope of the Gospel can give us the strength to not only “survive” these times, but to thrive. As a church community it is important that we support one another and also be reaching out to the cultures and communities outside of our local church. It is in that spirit that I want to encourage you to attend A Rockwood Town Hall Meeting on Underage Drinking, Thursday April 3, 5:30-7:30 p.m. at
Crestview Middle School.

In 2004 students in Rockwood were surveyed, and the results are less than encouraging:

*39 percent of Rockwood high school students report that they binge drink regularly
*45 percent of Rockwood 8^th-grade students say they have been to a party where other kids their age have been drinking
*75 percent of our Rockwood 10^th and 11^th grade students state they have been to parties where kids are drinking

Folks, we cannot sit passively while this taking place in our own backyard. I have been involved in this event’s sponsor; the Rockwood Drug-Free Schools Coalition, since February of 2007. An article about the coalition appeared in West Magazine, which piqued my interest; but it was being approached at a local QuikTrip to buy alcohol for an underaged student that motivated me to get involved. (I hope it goes without saying that I declined.)

I have seen the hard work of community leaders, teachers, and Rockwood staff make some strides in under-age alcohol consumption and abuse. But for deep change to take place we need much more than a coalition or even a meeting. Our schools are charged with teaching our children civic duty and imparting information. It is our job as Christians to instruct our children in what is right and wrong. Our students’ choices are guided by much more than what a health class or school assembly can give them.

Students hearing statistics (not unlike the ones I’ve fed you) or seeing crash reenactments might serve as a small deterrent from destructive drinking behavior, but a lifestyle flows out of faith.

So won’t you join me in supporting the efforts of our community? Will you take time out of your busy life to stand up against what the world wants our teens to think, and what too many of them are believing- that booze is what it takes to have fun? Here is what you can expect from the Town Hall Meeting:

1. Meet      others in the Rockwood community who want to take a stand to prevent      underage drinking
2. Find      out which businesses in your neighborhood have participated in and passed      local police department’s alcohol compliance checks
3. Learn      from a panel of experts, including professionals in the area of alcohol      prevention in youth, as well as Rockwood teachers, parents and students.
4. Participate      in a question-and-answer session and find out what you can do to help your      child make good choices for their future.
5. Get involved on specific committees and be a part of the Rockwood solution to      stop alcohol abuse and underage drinking.

If you have any questions, concerns, or even better- want to get more involved please contact me. I thank you for your consideration and again, strongly encourage you to attend this community wide event.

Much love,

Adam Mustoe
Director of Youth Ministries
Living Word United

Methodist

Church

www.lwyouth.org
www.mustoe.blogspot.com
adam.mustoe@gmail.com
636-821-2800

Crestview Drug and Alcohol Awareness Roundtable

Tuesday January 29
7-8:30pm
Crestview Cafeteria Addition

Parents, please join us for an evening of presentations and discussion about important issues facing our children today.  Learn how you can make a difference in your child's life!

Presentations by experts 7-8pm

Roundtable discussions- question and answer session with the experts 8-8:30pm

This evening will give you the opportunity to gather valuable information and ask questions about issues facing our children today.

*this event is hosted and produced by the Rockwood School District

For Parents: Binge Drinking and Our Schools

Sorry for such a long post, but this is a big issue.  This continues our series of Adam's (Director of Youth Ministries) thoughts on today's issues for our parents.  For your convenience it is attached in a word document below.  Please throw your 2cents in and leave a comment!

In summation, we cannot expect our schools to "fix" problems like under-age binge drinking as it is not within their scope of influence.

With New Years Eve approaching I want to address a pertinent issue in our community.  New Years is one of the biggest, if not the biggest, party night of the year; which is ironic because you’re either ending or starting your year partying, depending on how you look at it.  Either way our students will certainly be in a position to make some choices if not this year, then in a rapidly approaching year.

Over the past several months I have had the privilege of working with a local coalition for drug free schools, made up of leaders from the Rockwood School District and the community.  Rockwood students rate higher in participating in binge drinking than other students in Missouri and the country.  In those meetings I got be on the “front lines” of alcohol abuse prevention and interact with teachers, students, and law enforcement officials.  I learned a lot of information and got to see great efforts being made to face this issue in our community, an issue that could easily be swept under the rug or dismissed as “kids just being kids”.

I commend the efforts of the coalition and look forward to future collaboration with them.  However I feel as a person in a position of “influence” with youth and parents, and as a Christian I can offer a unique perspective (by influence I mean I have a forum to espouse my ideas, that doesn’t mean I’m important!).  It is not the responsibility of our schools to teach our children not do drink.

It’s ours.

By “ours” I mean parents and other adults who care about what is best for our students not only in the eyes of society (i.e. being “good” kids) but in the eyes of God.  You see, our schools can’t really teach our kids about ethics or morality, that is not what they’re charged with.  We cannot expect them to, nor be angry when they do not.  Our students can learn about the legal and biological consequences of binge drinking, but they cannot be taught about why it is a “bad” choice.  Because in making a judgment of what is “good” or “bad”, you will ultimately have to appeal to a higher authority.  Otherwise your parameters for what is “good” and “bad” will be mere subjectivity, emotion, or pragmatism.

Again, our schools can demonstrate how you’ll pay this much for an M.I.P. ticket when you get busted or show a picture of a scarred liver after binge drinking for years.  But can a health teacher weigh in on whether or not binge drinking is a good choice from a moral standpoint?

The problem with this situation is that most high school students do not find statistics, legal repercussions, or health problems to be a deterrent.  After all, when we’re young we’re immortal!  The “I’ll never get caught” or “that won’t happen to me” cards quickly trump any grounds we present from the perspective of mere information.  So we are left with kids that are well educated but not morally (one could even say spiritually) motivated to resist the lifestyle of binge drinking.

So it then becomes the responsibility of the parents and other caring adults to impart this wisdom to our students.  This can be very tricky!  As a parent, do you fear your child asking if you ever drank before you were 21?  Or that they’ll ask if even after you were 21 did you drink to excess?  As a 23 year old male, who is a role model for students, should I feel dirty if I buy a six pack at the grocery store?  Where are the boundaries?  Total abstinence?  The age old “if you’re going to drink I’d rather have you at home safe”?

We need to do more than make students aware of the laws in our community.  They need more than stats or mock drunk driving accidents or Bible verses. Students need to see the behavior their parents are expecting modeled.  Our students are surrounded by images that promote binge drinking as not just what is cool, but what is normal.  If you want to see an image that is being portrayed to our students as “par for the course” behavior, rent “Superbad”. 

Students need to be shown that binge drinking isn’t just a “bad choice” because of what it does to your liver or how much community service you have to put in if you get caught, binge drinking is a wrong choice because you’re not really living it up, you’re running away.  When you drink it does harm your body; but so does the McDonalds I just ate for lunch.  Again, it’s not just about the physical consequences.  When you drink you are able to engage in behaviors that you might think twice about if you were sober- so you essentially can be someone else.  Because hey, you can just blame whatever you did on the booze! (I won't even get into the drinking and driving issues, when you effect not only your own life, but those around you.) This is no way to live. 

So what will “fix” the teen drinking problem is not more seminars or more education or more dramatic depictions of binge drinking, but a relationship with Jesus Christ.  Now, that’s a very “youth pastory” thing to say.  What I mean by that is, students can relate with peers and other adults who honestly care about them and who are trying to live as Christ did.  The student can see a very invisible thing be visibly modeled in others lives!  If a student has already committed their life to following Jesus Christ, that student can be encouraged so that they don’t feel like a weirdo and they don’t have to judge the kids who are still engaging in un-wise activities.  No one could come up with a sound argument against education and awareness, that would be ridiculous- there are consequences for actions.  But we need to see the limits of mere information and re-commit ourselves to the power of relation: modeling the behavior Jesus commands for our students.

Appendix:  Please know that I am NOT arguing for the Bible to be taught in the classroom or for our schools to be overtly religious in nature.  What I am saying is, what else could you expect from an institution that is not bound to instill the things I described above?

Download bingedrinking_and_schools.doc

For Parents: Identifying Online Social Networks

After conversations with a couple parents, I (Adam, youth director if you don't know me) am proud to announce a new aspect to the website- the For Parents section.  I want to use our youth site as a tool to help parents by discussing some issues facing our students today.  Now, the students may prefer their parents in the dark about things foriegn to them, but thats ok.  In the "for parents" section I hope to respond to questions that I get from parents, and help educate and provide other resources.

So today, the subject is:  Facebook and MySpace.  I'll give you the brief version first, then the deluxe extended addition!

Short answer:  While there are certainly a number of red flags that could be raised in terms of privacy and accessibility, with a healthy amount of parental monitoring I believe your child can have an account on Facebook or MySpace and you as a parent can sleep well at night.

What IS facebook/MySpace? 
These are "social networking" sites where users create a profile and are able to "connect" with other users using the same service.  Think of it as AOL Instant Messenger's younger, cooler, better featured cousin. 

How does my child get one of these profiles?  Can I control what they're allowed to do?
To join, all one needs is an email address.  It's as simple as going to myspace.com or facebook.com. While there are no explicit parental control features, there are a variety of privacy options that control the amount of information accessed, as well as who can access this information.

What can you do these things do anyway?
You can share photos, provide your interests, favorite movies/books/music, you can message other users (like a leaner version of email) privately or leave a message on people's profiles for everyone to see.  You can search for other users, maybe old friends that you've lost touch with, you can discover new media (lots of bands have their own profiles, often with free music, and many movie studios are using social networking sites to promote new movies), you can create events or rsvp to someone's elses party, you can create groups with discussion boards/photo albums.  Our church in fact has a facebook group which I use to promote events.  A lot of youth don't check email with regularity, but they get on facebook more than once a day.  As social networking sites grow larger, they're billing themselves as "utilities" where people can shop (think ebay), order prints of digital photos, and get the latest headlines.  But all of these features are evidence of the huge commercial appeal and are secondary to the social aspect.

What is the difference between Facebook and MySpace?  What types of people use these things anyway?
This is an issue mostly of preference, but also one of demographics.  Facebook started off strictly for college campuses, but starting in 2006 was widened to include universal access by anyone (from high school students to grandparents).  MySpace has been around a bit longer, and was never restricted to just college students.  MySpace traditionally has more commercial accounts than facebook, including some unsavory ones.  MySpace involves a lot more commercial solicitation than Facebook does- whether that means cool, free, new music, or pornographic material.   But the age/demographic gap is closing:  according to an August Newsweek article (click to read, it's fairly long, but so is this!) the trends are as such:

Facebook- 35 Million users, over half of which are not college students.  Facebook is growing at 3% per week.

MySpace- 70 million users.  More prone to independent bands, movie promotions, adult sites, etc.

Should I let my kid get one? Are these sites dangerous?
The dangers are two fold:  one tangible, the other more ethereal.   The tangible danger is that predators can get information about your child which is creepy at best and unthinkably awful at worst.  If you are concerned about your child sharing information like:  address, phone numbers, full name, emails, AOL chat names, and other personal stats, then yes, you need to know these can be shared online and that you can control them.  You have two options.  1- don't provide the information.  2-go into the privacy settings and you can select who sees the information.  You have to understand that users field requests from other users to be able to access their profile.  So, people can't access your profile if you don't let them.  (that might not be comfort to many parents, because the information is still "out there") You can also have whats called a "limited profile" where even after initial approval users still block the majority of their profile, with full viewing rights reserved for approved users.  The other aspect of this tangible danger is that people see the things you post- comments you make, interests you provide, and yes, photos that you're in.  Most of you have heard about the LaFayette deal a couple years ago where students who were shown drinking in photos online were busted.  More and more employers are checking potential employees facebook/myspace profiles.  If you're going to be stupid, definitely don't post it for everyone to see!

The more intangible danger (and the one more likely to happen to your child in my opinion) is that they literally have the ability to handcraft their identity.  Users can make themselves appear to be another person, create an online alter-ego.  Why not list the movies, music, tv shows, and books that you're not really into but all the cool kids are?  I often see students using language online I would have never guessed they would say in person (isn't being idealistic and naive fun!?!?!).  The danger is your kids can make themselves out to be someone they're not- which erodes at who they really are and who God wants them to be.  I would guess (very unscientifically) that a keyboard takes away inhibitions more than alcohol does.  Because from the comfort of your laptop you feel safe, you feel so in control, and you can fail to see the bigger picture.

Is all this risk even worth it?
I think so.  Using Facebook just last month I connected with a friend from elementary school I haden't seen since 1998 when I moved!  He lives in St. Charles and we hung out, it was great!  When I got engaged, facebook was a great way to announce it and share joy with all my buddies spread across the land.  I use facebook to promote youth events here at church, and to connect with kids (especially when they signed up to do something!).   This stuff is here to stay guys.  The founder of Facebook was recently offered 1 BILLION dollars to sell his site, and he didn't even bat an eye.  I would recommend Facebook, and being open and honest with your kids.  Helping them to see the very real dangers, and they can help you see how the internet is changing the way people interact and it's not all bad either!

I know this was really long.  You can click below to download it in word format.  Feel free to share with other parents, or leave a comment with your thoughts.  It is a privilege to work with your children, please email me with any questions.

Peace,

-Adam

Download identifyingsocialnetworks.doc

Link to Newsweek Article

 

Greetings Parents and Youth!

Hope you are enjoying the meeting so far.  Below you can download all the forms we recieved today so you can pass this site along to other parents.  If you are looking at this massive list to download, pick "our purpose" and "September through December for your fridge".

Download our_purpose.ppt
Download youth_ministry_parent_survey.doc
Download youth_ministry_student_survey.doc
Download youth_brochure_edited.pub
Download youth_group_manifesto.doc
Download september_through_december_for_your_fridge.doc